As outlined in my ‘Note To Reader’ post I set a goal to share with you my readers the personal narrative that was the foundation of my published book – ‘A Journey Of Actual Death Experiences’. This is my first recount of my diary entries that I originally penned on; 03/04/2013 – so now four years later we will review and offer fresh perspective of my penned entry..
Originally Authored: 03/04/2013 [00:00] GMT
Father Carey and Rev. Jack are by no means the only ‘men of the cloth’ whom I have pleaded with for help. I was just so very tired all the time, and my head constantly hurt with a fierce burning sensation – flowing down and across my head. Sometimes, back left – other times front left, and back and front right. This pain is always there, even now as I write this entry. There have been days when I cannot even move my head. I would just sit there trying to remain as still as possible – not daring to move. I could not even brush my hair. There are days when I cannot stand bright lights – man-made or natural. I was not able to go into a room or get into a car if the radio was playing, as the static noise that I’d pick up from the high frequencies were horrendous.
Sleep – oh how I truly, truly long for the day to come again – when I can just fall into bed, and drift off into a beautiful, peaceful sleep and then wake-up in the morning feeling rested and fresh. If only we could all realise and value the little things in life that cost no money but they make us feel amazing.
End of Entry.
Four Years On …
I can only write how utterly ghastly the physical burning pain was and how it was constantly occurring 24/7. Invading my life to the point that I could not function.
I still have it to this day but it is no longer as severe or as continuously as it use to be. It has been an aspect of my Actual Death Experiences that baffled my doctors over the years. They could clearly see the suffering I had to endure, and tried their best to reach out to specialists.
I am also partly (50%) deaf in both ears, and I have to use two hearing aids to be able to hear but I could never wear them when the burning pain is at its peak. We soon realised that the heat source was able to generate a different level of awareness.
I had been sitting down on a chair facing Dr. Curzon (former GP). The surging pain was so intense I couldn’t move my head, and every time he tried to put his hand near my head – the burning heat increased and I would cry out from the pain.
A nurse came into the room, and although I hadn’t been able to hear her enter the room and I couldn’t hear her moving around behind me, I was still able to tell my doctor that someone was in the room, and as she moved around, I could trace and speak of her movements with accuracy. If she stepped backwards, moved left or right I was able to tell my doctor everything she was doing even though I couldn’t see her.
I was connecting to her Spiritual energy – I was linked to her higher consciousness, and the traces of her movements flashed within my thoughts like an image you would see on a heat detection camera.
But being able to detect the movements of a person I couldn’t see wasn’t the only strange occurrence that kept happening to me, and scientifically these other abilities will go towards proving that a near death experience (ADE) can not possibly be illusions or images produced by false memories. It is an incredible scientific discovery and provide remarkable evidence for both telepathic communications and the origins of the human consciousness.
I noticed that different parts of my brain reacted to different emotions which I would experience. If I laughed, cried or got angry, a specific part of my brain would emanate with the pain. I was also able to absorb other peoples energy, and when I absorbed their energy I also absorbed their knowledge and their emotions.
Over the last two decades of my life, everybody whom I encountered within my physical life, (with the exception of a handful of people) have all been affected by my chronic ADEs. I would have so little energy that I could not function, a friend would call in to visit me and within a matter of minutes I alert and full of energy and my friend would feel so physically drained he/she would have to go and lie down on my sofa to rest or fall asleep. Sometimes another person didn’t even need to be in my company for this to happen. The phone would ring, and within minutes of our conversation I would have absorbed their energy.
Sometimes, I could tune into other peoples thoughts but when I told them what they were thinking – the reaction wasn’t so much of amazement but more-so one of fear and I was regarded as a freak. The flash visions were often alarming, and some even frightening. I would accidentally touch a person, and an electrical charged static image would suddenly appear within my sight.
Once I sat with a man who I had just met for the first time. As I shook his hand to introduce myself, I saw a ‘birds nest’ with several little chicks inside moving around. I held my breath not wanting to say anything but the words slipped out before I could stop them, “You have a busy mind.” I told him. He smiled confirming he did, and then asked me how I did I know such about him. How do you think he reacted when I told him, I’d just seen a birds nest on-top of his head?
One of the more frightening flash visions was from meeting a man who was suffering from mental health issues. Years earlier, he’d committed a criminal offence and it had cost him his freedom. During his imprisonment, his wife had left him and he lost contact with his children. His mindset was that the police were to blame for his failed life, citing they had acted unlawfully while investigating his case. Now he wanted justice, and claimed to have evidence to prove misconduct by the police. He wanted to bring the police to court in a civil action against them but no matter how many lawyers he had approached to act on his behalf – no-one would touch his case because of his past mental health issues.
At the time I was representing myself for three legal actions, two local authorities and a named individual, (not the police). He asked me to represent him but I refused, as I had no argument against the police, and my three cases were more than enough.
Early one winter’s evening he visited my home, as my hand accidentally brushed against his side – I suddenly saw a vision of his thoughts revealing his intent. Moments before I’d seen he was holding a wooden bat but he was trying to conceal it behind his legs. I was suddenly overcome with a feeling of pain – a desperate sadness of feeling rejected, yet he was expressing a fierce anger – not sadness. His features engraved hate, and the tone of his voice raised, – condemning and bitter.
In the vision, I saw petrol cans in the boot of his car, then I saw him standing in the centre of a group of police officers – he was beating them mercilessly with the bat, and pouring petrol over them – the he set the officers alight. The vision faded and I gasped in horror. “Where are you going too?” I shouted at him. “I’m going to the police station and no-one can stop me.” He growled back at me. My blood ran cold. How could I stop him? He was about 6ft 6, a giant compared to my 5ft frame.
Fear penetrated my heart, I had to stop him from doing such a dreadful act. He didn’t care for the consequences, he already believed his life was over. I shouted at him again this time as loud as I could – promising him that I would help him to find his peace. Our conversation turned into a fierce battle of words but as I took control, I saw the anger in his eyes dip to reflect his true sadness.
I reached down and slowly took the bat from his hand, as he let it go his heart broke and he began to sob uncontrollably. He didn’t want me to see his tears but he could not hide his pain any longer. I walked him to his car, and took out the petrol cans then I told him to go home and get his case files, and bring back them to me. I knew what this man needed for him to find peace.
I promised him I would do his court cases, and I spent the following days immersed in his case documents, witness statements and interview records. A few weeks later, I stood in court presenting his case before a judge.
The time I spent representing this man proved to be a harrowing time for me. My name was tarnished, and I became more disliked than ever. St Annes is only a small town, and everyone knew what I was doing. I’d always been a supporter of our local police community and here I was presenting a civil claim against them. People shunned me for getting involved. Why was I helping a man bring court action against the police when this was none of my business.
It broke my heart but only I knew the real reason I was helping this man with his court cases, and just how far I was prepared to go and put myself through to protect the lives of my local police officers….. I had to stop him, and bringing the court action was the only way he would find peace from his angry heart.
Text From The Book
“The fostering glint of empathy reflected genuinely in Dr. Franklin’s eyes.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked. Her tone was mixed with both acceptance and hope. I was on one of my regular monthly visits at her surgery.
I sat rigid on the chair opposite her, my entire body motionless. I could not even tilt my head. The fierce burning pain surged ruthlessly over the crown of my head, and flowed down the back towards my brain-stem. Then on impact the acute pain exploded into a shower of intense heat, covering my head in a blanket of sharp prickly pins and needles. The constant burning pain didn’t subside. In the very moment the eruption occurred, it triggered the surging pain to emanate over the crown of my head again. I was totally exhausted. The intense pain was only the tip of the iceberg. I was also sleep deprived, and not just by a couple of restless nights, my insomnia was infinite. I had not had a natural sleep since 1992, when my ADEs had opened on a whole new level because my brain just didn’t function like a normal person’s.”